Episode 50: Committed to Community
An interview with Courtney Wong Davis
Courtney shares her in-process story of being committed to community.
The Seeds
Name: Courtney Wong Davis
Where do you call home: Glendora, CA
Relationship Status: Married
Season of Work: Associate Professor, Executive Coach, Consultant, Mom, Wife, Local Church Covenant Partner
Hobbies: Having run (not running itself!), Riding bikes with my kids, Cooking, Saturday morning breakfasts, Reading, (Re-)learning Spanish, Walks with friends, Thursday morning coffee dates with my husband.
Jesus Journey: I was introduced to Jesus by my sorority sisters (not a Christian sorority) and two friends in a fraternity across the street from my college sorority. The women in my sorority were living life with purpose, not simply striving for the sake of achievement. Their purpose made so many things more clear for them, and then for me. The two guys invited me to church. And when one of those guys gave me my first Bible, I read the first few pages of it (you know, the stuff that most Christians skip to get to Genesis 1), late into the night. And it laid out the gospel and I committed to follow Him around 2:03 am, simply by reading the truth.
The Branches
We’re having this conversation because of our love for small groups and desire for them to deepen people’s relationships with God and each other. Courtney, define what a “small group” is. Can they only be found in local churches?
A small group is usually defined by interdependence, mutual influence, and interaction. They’re work groups, playgroups, community groups, discipleship groups, and more. But I think small groups have a unique purpose in the local church.
Why do you love small groups?
They have so deeply impacted me. I am who I am today because of the small groups of people of which I’ve been a part. The small group of 20- to 30-somethings that Matt and I led for 7 years are an incredible part of our story and journey, having prayed with us through so many seasons of our lives in those 7 years. It hasn’t always been perfect, but I have been changed by those people in meaningful ways.
Why are small groups within the church essential to have, resource, and participate in?
I think it’s a great place for the church to actually be the church. Where we can grow spiritually, read the Word together, be pushed in the right direction, care for and be cared for, and let people see and know our true selves week in and week out. Attending Sunday services very rarely can do that.
In 2020 you, Ryan Hartwig, and Jason Sniff released a book called, “Leading Small Groups that Thrive.” How do you know Ryan and Jason? What made you write this book and who is it for?
Ryan and I were on faculty together at Azusa Pacific University a few years before 2020 and Jason was a friend of Ryan’s from an earlier season in their lives. Jason was and is a small group Pastor. He and Ryan had been having some conversations about how to cultivate incredible small groups for the glory of God. Ryan and Jason invited me onto the project with an eye on the research and my interest in community. To date, this is my best and most favorite working small group!
The book is for people like my husband, Matt–a willing servant who loves Jesus and His people and who needs training and help to lead well. He’s not trained like I am in small group communication, so it’s for willing servants who have some questions about how to do this well!
The book is research-driven yet practical. What are two pieces of research you found to be astounding back when you wrote the book and what’s your hope and dream for small groups in our churches?
Group purpose matters. If the group’s purpose was fellowship or discipleship, group members grew LESS than than if the group’s purpose was ministry, worship, or evangelism. Outward-facing purposes contributed to greater spiritual growth.
Group size matters. Smaller groups with 8 core members grow spiritually more than larger groups, which debunks the loose number of 10-12 floating around church circles.
My hope: Small groups would be a place where the church can be the church and multiplication would be the goal.
How important is a leader’s commitment to their small group?
Commitment is so important. Every ‘yes’ is a ‘no’ and every ‘no’ is a ‘yes’. So when we say we’re going to lead a group, we’re committing to connecting with group members throughout the week, praying with and for them, studying and preparing for group discussion, etc. It’s more than showing up or unlocking your front door on a weeknight.
Have you ever taken a break from leading small groups? Why is taking a step back from leading not just small groups but other assignments in life necessary?
This is our first year of not leading since 2016, having led a group for 7 years consecutively. We set a plan for multiplication in year 3 or 4 and identified and raised up leaders in the last few years. Our group basically was self-sustaining and self-sufficient in the last year. When we understand we’re not “playing for keeps,” multiplication of groups actually embeds in the structure of a Sabbatical for leaders. And Sabbath, about which I feel particularly strongly, is a reminder of Whose you are, apart from what you can do.
The year has been particularly important for us in many ways. It opened up an opportunity for a new ‘yes’ in our local church for me to teach a class on ‘Biblical theology of work’ and rest. It’s given us space to pray about how we might step into involvement in our local church in the coming season.
In your book, “Leading Small Groups That Thrive” you said in the introduction, “You don’t always feel as if you and your husband Matt have been ‘fit’ to lead.” What did you mean?
In many ways, it seems there are always people who know the Word of God better than you. There are Pastors and staff who are clearly qualified. And it was easy, historically, to believe that only the most Holy, special people are qualified to lead in the church. That’s obviously not true, but that’s a real feeling sometimes.
How would you encourage leaders in our churches who have never led a small group because they don’t feel ‘fit’ to lead?
God is always looking for willing servants, not qualified ones. Do you have a desire to serve God and His people, a commitment to make time for your people (both for group time and in between), and a willingness to learn? Feelings are not great determinants of much!
Courtney, could you briefly share a story of something you either witnessed or were part of that came from being in a small group with God’s people?
We said ‘yes’ to leading so we could serve 20- and 30-somethings in that tough stage of figuring out life and career, post-college. We didn’t realize our ‘yes’ to serve and care for 20- and 30-somethings would also be a ‘yes’ to being served and cared for.
We stepped into the foster care journey with many months and years of prayers from our small group members. But when we welcomed a little girl into our home, it was our small group who knew first. It was a small group member who agreed to watch her the first day before we figured out childcare. Our small group walked with us through the toughest season of our family’s life and what a breath of fresh air it was when they walked through the door on Wednesday nights. They knew the day-to-day and week-to-week needs to pray to God on our behalf. They hugged us on Sunday mornings. They sent audio messages as they interceded on our behalf. They cried with us when she left. In a lot of ways, we couldn’t have done foster care without them.
Are you currently in a small group? What are you learning as you step into leading and/or being part of a small group at your local church?
No. And we’re not even sure what our involvement in small groups will look like in the coming season. We might be members of someone else’s group, but we’re not set on leading. We know the power of small groups, but we also don’t have our identity connected to leading them. We’ll serve our local church in the ways He leads us to do so.
For the Olive Us sister who currently does not have a church home for whatever reason. Any tips or encouragement on how to build community with God’s people, deepen their relationship with the Lord, and be discipled/make disciples?
Do things together with others who love Jesus and are committed to growing in their Christlikeness. Put together a playdate. Go on a walk with a sister in Christ before work. Have a weekly phone call on your commute home. Meet for tea after kiddo bedtime. Invite someone to read a book together as you both grow together as disciples of Jesus.
But if you can, get into a local church. It’s a sacrifice and a commitment and I know there are real, legitimate reasons for church hurt. No church is perfect and your next church may not be like your last, for better or worse. But, the local church is God’s plan A. There’s no plan B. The local church is supposed to be the place where we are taught the Word of God, worship together as part of God’s people, invest in others, and are seen by others, among many other things. It won’t be perfect, but if I’m able to say it gently, find a church, commit to visiting 4-to 6 weeks in a row, and then decide what to do from there.
Olive Us was created for women to share their in-process stories and be reminded they’re connected through Christ and not alone. Why is this important?
In-process is our Biblical reality, so let’s just call it what it is! Christ has redeemed us, so we can walk freely and be in process in a lot of ways, having nothing to prove. And because Christ will come again, we don’t have to have our ducks in a row or see any particular end goal realized in our lifetime. So be real.
The Olive Tree
Finish these statements:
God is…superabundantly generous and patient.
Small Groups Thrive When….they have an outward-facing purpose, put structures in place that support that purpose, have committed leaders, facilitate meaningful discussions, and embrace conflict.
‘Olive Us’ are better when…we’re committed to one another’s pursuit of Christlikeness.