Episode 4: Our Refuge, Our Strength, Our Rescuer
An interview with Frances Mulcahy
Hear how a tough season of life strengthened her faith in God & highlighted idols of insecurity and pride. Frances will encourage, challenge, and speak a message of HOPE to the woman who believes she is too far from God to be loved, restored, and rescued.
The Seeds
Name: Frances Paola Mulcahy
Age: 38
Relationship Status: Married
Where are you Originally From: Manila, Philippines
Where is HOME for you? SAN FRANCISCO BABY!
Season of Work: Community Director for Epic Church and starting school to become a licensed Marriage & Family therapist in January 2020.
Hobbies: Lifting, bouldering, hiking, reading, napping, playing with the dog
Interesting Facts about me: Recently discovered that I am an Enneagram 1 with a strong 2 wing. For the longest time, I thought I was the other way around.
Jesus Journey
My parents were born again when I was 2 years old so that’s how it started for our family. There were a lot of people who planted seeds in me because I grew up in the church and went to Catholic school. I was one of those kids who became born again several times at youth camp or worship nights LOL. I think I wrestled a lot with making my faith my own and I finally “owned” it at 30 years old when I moved to San Francisco and started going to Epic church. I was going through a lot and at my lowest point. I surrendered my life to God and recommitted my heart to Jesus because I was in such a dark, lonely place. I was just like, “Jesus, I need you in a way I’ve never needed you before. I’m going to follow you and my life is yours now.”
The Branches
Looking at you today...seeing your smile, seeing you serve in our City of San Francisco, married for a year now…. it’s easy to think that life has been so rosy for you. But, since I know you and I know a bit of your story, you’ve had quite a bit of a painful past. Can you give us a glimpse into some of the pain you’ve experienced.
Eight years ago, I moved to the US for a relationship with a man who I thought I knew. We eventually married and shortly after that, he became abusive towards me. The red flags I chose to ignore before became worse. I was called every name, sexually assaulted within marriage, and emotionally tormented for years. And yet, I chose to stay in that cycle of abuse for 3 years and it took another 3 years to get out of it completely. I was becoming someone I didn’t want to be and that really woke me up. I was at a very rebellious phase when all of this started. I was of the notion that I was in control and that whatever happens, it won’t be something I can’t handle. Talk about pride. The biggest thing that I had to confront though wasn’t my pride; it was my need for approval. It is the biggest idol in my life.
In the middle of that painful season and following that painful season did you ever feel abandoned by God? If so, in what way?
I was very lonely. I felt like no one really understood what it was like. I felt like God turned his back on me because of the poor choices I made.
Can you think of examples where despite being in a painful season you glimpsed God? Did he meet you in this pain? What are some only God moments?
The consistent love and support of Epic as a church community was such a powerful reminder that God had his grip on me. I have so many only God moments--like being offered free housing so that I could escape. Google offering me a full-time role, which opened up a lot of resources for me financially and professionally. Being able to work with one of the best domestic violence lawyers in the Bay Area. There was just provision in every way: materially, emotionally, and even legally.
One of the most popular names we call God is Emmanuel. In the Hebrew that means “God with us.” Do you believe God is with us? Do you believe God is with you?How has he made his presence known in the past and to date?
That is one of my favorite names of God and I do believe that God is with us and with me. Time and time again, God shows us that He works through people and I don’t think I’ve really experienced what community means until I found myself in a really dark place. People sought me out, helped me, cared for me and that’s how I know (past and present) that He is with me. With my experience in particular, it was a person that caused me the most painful experience of my life and God’s way of redeeming that has been through people.
How has God restored YOUR life Frances?
I’ve gone through intense therapy for six years with a Christian counselor and through that God restored my identity in Christ. Nothing has been more healing than knowing that I am a daughter of God. That He is my help in time of need. That I have a Heavenly Father who delights in me and sings songs over me. That He offers forgiveness for the mistakes I’ve made. That is the truth that is so wildly humbling.
So talk to the "one" today. There's a woman out there that has experienced what you’ve experienced and is hurting. How does she remain hopeful?
Leaving the cycle of abuse isn’t easy and I encourage you to 1) be in community and 2) leverage your community for resources. I wasn’t comfortable asking for help but if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have made it out. I also want you to know that God is able to write a different story for your life. Sometimes, when we are in survival mode, it’s hard to believe that life could be different. But my friend, nothing is impossible with God. I also want to encourage you to fight isolation with everything that you can.
The Olive Tree
Olive Us was created for women to share their experiences through life and their "Only God" moments so that we can remember we are connected through Christ and that we're not alone. Why is this important?
Isolation breeds helplessness and hopelessness. When we are isolated, we can get caught up in an unhealthy swirl of thoughts and feelings. We need people who can speak truth into us and remind us of who God is and who we are in God.
Finish these statements:
God is...............a redeeming God.
God’s love for Olive us is: unchanging.
"Olive us" are better when........ we let God write our story.